The end of the year is the perfect #time for #reflection, for #evaluating where we are at, where we are not yet at, to press the #reset button and #gift ourselves a #freshstart: #celebrate our #wins, assessing what hasn’t work and, of course, have #gratitude for both.
I have discovered that I've always been awful at setting goals (I didn't know it back then!), and because of it, I would loooove to share with you 9 simple steps that made goal setting click for me and made me realize why most of the times we do not manage to stick to a goal throughout the year.
Before we dive into the steps, here are some guidelines:
Be very #specific when setting your goals. An “open” goal is not a goal. It is a wish.
#Categorize your goals: Internal, External, Business, Health, Family, Friends, Self Care, Educational, etc.
Take your #time, there is no rush in setting goals. The more time you take to make sure the goals you are setting are #aligned to you and your #purpose, the higher the chances of you sticking to them.
Setting Goals are for you and only you. Make the message true to yourself.
If there were no limits, what would you like to create externally in 10 years time?
What do you think you can achieve in 12 months?
Get a brand new journal start writing it all down!
I have written parts of this post in I form. This is because I really want to you to feel part of this while reading.
I choose to take true RESPONSIBILITY for my thoughts and actions
I choose to let go of the STORIES I tell myself
I choose to let go of the EXCUSES I give myself and others
I choose my WORTHINESS over procrastination and overwhelm
I choose EVOLUTION over comfort
I choose SELF LOVE over people pleasing
STEP 1: Reflect
Who am I becoming?
Where am I headed?
Where I am right now?
Am I living my values?
What am I experiencing externally?
What am I experiencing internally?
Do I feel aligned to my purpose?
What is my purpose?
What matters to me?
What do I consider important?
What do I want to experience?
This is what I call the reflection stage. It is about stopping for a moment and aligning our whole self to the person we want to become, to the purpose we want to bring to life.
When we do that, we connect to a deeper strength within us, we connect to whom we really want to become.
STEP 2: Acceptance of Self
I'm going to take a guess here to say that most of the times we set goals from a place of “need” or from a place of #scarcity.
We generally set a goal because we no longer want something in our lives, or maybe because we want to get rid of something. This generally explains the initial high motivation which is then lost as quickly as self doubt or fear kicks in.
Let's take the very simple example of loosing weight: we generally start the year with full motivation to loose weight. The reason generally being: “I don’t like how I look”, “I look fat”, “I want to get back in my jeans”. This is setting a goal from a place of “need”, from a place of non acceptance of self.
This place of non acceptance of self will see the decline of the motivation as soon as the non acceptance comes back to haunt us again.
Instead, I want you to set goals from a place of love, from a place of self acceptance: this is the only place where goals can be set and kept.
Can I love myself even though I have a little bit of extra weight?
Can I love myself even though I have procrastinated for a month?
Can I love myself even though I have given in to self doubt?
Can I love myself even though …………… (insert whatever applies to you)
Self love doesn’t mean that I have to love my procrastination, my extra weight or my self doubt. It means that I CAN LOVE MYSELF DESPITE OF ALL THAT.
STEP 3: Values
Values rule your life, they are states you want to live by and that you commit to all the time.
Am I committing to love?
Am I committing to self care?
Am I committing to growing and learning?
Am I committing to discipline?
What do I want to experience on a consistent basis?
What principles do I want to base my life on?
Am I consistent with that?
STEP 4: Vision
Goals are often external. Here I challenge you to have both INTERNAL (regenerative = healing and reignite what you had and lost) and EXTERNAL (generative = create what you need that you have not had before) world goals.
And for each of your goals ask yourself this question: What’s its PURPOSE?
What will achieving this goal give me?
What will it give my loved ones?
What will it give my family and friends?
What will it give the world around me?
Connect to your higher purpose all the time and hold it as a reminder of whatever it is you want to become.
If you are familiar with the VAK system, you can select your primary modality (Visual, Hearing or Kinesthetic) and create a reminder that will talk to you in the most direct way.
STEP 5: Measure it!
A goal must be measurable. Unless you can measure it and see your progress, it cannot be a goal. Benchmark your goal and check in with yourself constantly.
Have I progressed towards it?
How do I know things are improving?
What changes am I seeing?
Am I heading in the right direction?
Is anything stopping me?
Be honest with yourself, self awareness is the only way forward.
STEP 6: Take Actions
After having assessed your vision and values, we can now proceed to the structure of achieving the goal.
Sometimes a yearly goal can seem overwhelming and overwhelm can often lead to procrastination which then leads to a stop.
The trick is to take a yearly goal and break it down into smaller and more manageable goals.
Break your Yearly Goal into Quarterly Goals. Then Break them into Monthly Goals. Then finally break your monthly goals into Weekly Goals. Your weekly goal can then be broken down to what we can call your TOP 5.
What are my TOP 5 actions I can take each week to move towards my goal?
We are now taking concrete and measurable actions towards our goal. Every week, check in with yourself to see how you are doing. Have I completed my TOP 5? Am I showing up for myself? if you haven't ticked all the boxes, that’s ok. Remember, you are doing this for you, for your own evolution. Go back and check-in the possible reasons why you may have not completed your tasks.
Am I still aligned with my goal? Do I have to tweak it a little bit? Were there external factors that prevent me to tick my boxes?
Assess and then commit to moving forward. Your goal will not come to you unless you take actions towards it.
STEP 7: it totally suits me!
The goals you are setting MUST suit you! Please please please do not set goals just because you think this it is a cool goal to set or because society says so or because it is a trend.
Unless it suits you, you will never stick to it. Goals are personal, they are meant to move you towards an evolved version of you. So unless they are part of you and aligned to your Values & Purpose, drop them and look deeper.
I cannot be someone I am not, neither would I want to be. Right?
STEP 8: Is it achievable?
Main question is: is this goal I am setting achievable or will it plunge me to #overwhelm?
I see way too many people struggling with #burnout and overdoing. Setting goals is not a competition.
Goals are simply what is going to bring the I of today to be the I that I want to see in the future.
STEP 9: Accountability
I know how hard it can be to ask for help, and even more to ask someone to keep you #accountable for your own goals. As crazy as it may seems, we do need one another, we do need the support of another human being who will stick by our side, keep us accountable and cheers us up.
Take time to set your goals, it doesn’t have to be done in a day. Write something down, go back to it. Write more down, go back to it again. Keep asking yourself if it is aligned to your higher purpose and check in periodically to see how you are doing.
And remember, the amount of self care you give yourself is going to be directly proportional to the #sustainable external success you are going to have.
Happy 2020 lovely humans!
Do not hesitate to reach for help or ask me questions. I will be more than happy to answer them and give you support.