I have a confession to make.
You can hide so well, it can be so hard to find you.
You disguise so well, it can be so hard to recognize you.
Sometimes I really want to hate you, however all I can really do is love you for all you are teaching me every day.
You still surprise me. I think I know you, I think I get how to feel you… and there you just show up, completely unexpected.”
There is nothing more powerful than a fear in disguise, there is nothing more powerful than a fear hiding behind a compulsive thought.
Let me share a story with you from which I have learned immensely.
Sometimes life brings you challenges, right? Who hasn’t had one of those moments in life where everything gets a little confused and you don’t really know how you feel anymore?
First stage of my challenge: compulsive thinking
Second stage of my challenge: what’s wrong with me?
Third stage: breathe. What’s the message here? Compulsive thinking again? Overthinking? Overanalyzing? Trying desperately to give a sense to all that is happening? Trying to control what’s going on. Can I really do that?
Breathe some more. What is really going on here? Simple: it is called Fear.
“My dear friend fear, you came in so unexpectedly and I am welcoming you back. It’s been a long time.”
You see, fears come to teach us something and when you manage to recognize them and understand them, you may just like that, feel a deep sense of calmness.
Sometimes people can come in your life like a hurricane, completely taking you off the ground. Trying to give a sense to all of this turmoil can be complicated. So you start playing stories in your head and you can get caught up in such an amazing movie script that you do not even remember how it all started and then you wonder how you got there.
Fear of not being good enough can bring on feeling of diminishing yourself. You then start thinking that it cannot be, I got it all wrong, and it is just so impossible. Me? Here? How? It must be a funny trick life has been playing on me.
It had been such a long time since I’ve felt this full on confusion… and in so many ways I could feel like going back to old patterns.
The only difference has been my reaction to it. By stopping for a moment, asking questions and tapping into my resources, I could disguise the fear and recognize that nothing was wrong with me. I was still me. Fear was just spinning me in the direction of chaos.
“Dear fear, I see you. I feel you. You are worth it.
Dear me, I see you. I feel you. You are worth it.”
A simple challenge can put you in the span of a second to needing to face your fears. And your fears will teach that you need to look within some more.
Thank you beautiful soul, you came to remind me to believe in me, to believe that I am worth it, to believe that even though things will show up to make me doubt myself, I know that when I am truly me I actually am nobody else than myself. And I am enough.
Thank you beautiful soul.