The day I learned how to pause

I don’t think I really knew what « pausing » was... Pausing intrinsically means to STOP.

And let’s be honest, when do we actually stop? But REALLY stop?

In a society where everything is about doing, getting, achieving, what’s next and go go go… how can we learn that it is actually ok to pause?

Even when we think we pause we are always doing something... checking Facebook, Instagram, watching Netflix, having a coffee or a tea or a matcha latte, watching the news, be on whatsapp or see what the latest trends are. That’s not pausing my friends! It’s doing something else than the thing I was doing before from which I needed a break from.

However, that’s not pausing! Pausing means to just sit, doing nothing; just simply be with yourself. In my case, I actually had to learn how to do nothing… Being an over doer, I could never really understand how people could just do nothing! My judgmental voice would called them “lazy”. It wasn’t until my body crashed that I realized that possibly I wasn’t Wonder Woman, possibly I wasn’t invincible... possibly I couldn’t just push my body through every « next » and every « one more ».

My body needed to rest so it did. The whole world paused, and it finally taught me how to do it.

I know this message may seem like something that has been said over and over again, and I get that each experience is different and now I am simply honoring my own.

It took the world to stop to drop any expectation I had about what I should or shouldn’t do.

My body was screaming for help, and I never listened. Our bodies are so smart! They always tells us how they feel. Whether we listen or not, it’s up to us.

So I had no expectation, I didn’t have to get anywhere, I didn’t have to create a new project, I didn’t have to go somewhere, I didn’t have to jump on a plane and I definitely did not need to reach for the moon.

Having an auto-immune disease and therefore be considered as a high risk person for covid-19, I was literally “stuck” at home.

I had the chance to learn how to just BE. The awareness of being without the doing; the awareness of not needing to be something specific, not needing to define, not needing to be perfect, say the right thing and be the savior for the world around me.

I could simply be. And the more I learned how to be, the more I created space for love, kindness and compassion.

I then realized that “doing” was taking me away from the core of my teachings, of my studies, of everything I have been dedicating my life to since the past 5 years: self love.

That’s it. When you DO something you concentrate so much on the doing that it becomes your only purpose. The purpose it not the doing, the purpose is the being… doing is the vehicle.

Let’s try to be more clear. Before you do something, generally you get your vision, you figure out how, with whom and then you implement.

When your compensatory strategy is doing, you just do for the sake of doing. My priorities changed, I still have a lot of progress to make. However, the most important achievement for me was to get clear on my mission, get clear on how to be aligned with my values and intrinsically know when I do something that is not aligned with them and … guess what…. Say no!

OMG, so scary! lol

So in these 2 months of isolation I helped whenever and wherever I could, I served where I could and I filled my cup. And now I know I am a recovering over doer and that I am still learning how to pause. And I will keep reminding myself over and over!

Doing is great, I love being productive (still now)! However giving your body and mind a rest is the most loving and soothing you could do for you.

Drop a comment if you have any questions!

Love,

Francesca